Anger Management 101 by USVCP Staff Educators     What is Anger? Your feelings change over time just like the river continues to flow, your feelings flow, evolve, change; and they change in color, intensity, and duration as time passes. What are some of the words we use to describe different intensities of anger? Let’s look at some of these; e.g. irritated, irked, annoyed, resentful, bitter, rageful, hateful, etc. We have many words in our vocabulary to express varying degrees of anger. As we go along in our group, we will continue to look at the language we use to express our feelings of anger, and determine among ourselves how important language is as we express ourselves to others. Anger is a feeling. Like other feelings it has a wide range from the trivial and momentary to an intense, powerful, longstanding emotion. We have a wide range of words we use to express this feeling. We have a feeling component of ourselves from the moment we are born until the moment that we die. Often, we have a number of feelings going on at the same time, but we are limited by our vocabulary to describe what we feel. It is noticeable that once we use a word to describe our feeling… no matter how many other feelings may be competing for attention, the one we name is the one we associate with the event. By naming it, we bring that feeling to the forefront. We focus our attention on it. With anger being a powerful, intense feeling. If it’s a part of the situation, we name it. It then is our emotional state. Think of your emotional state at any one time like a river that has water naturally flowing downstream. Imagine taking a knife and cutting a slice through that river and looking at what you have in there. There would likely be bits and pieces of many things, a fish, a rock, tree limb, minnows, a worm, sunlight, dark, turbulence, or calm. Those many things are the many emotions you may be experiencing at any one time. When you name one component, it becomes your focus. Feelings are like that. You may have several feelings going on at the same time. When you name one feeling, that one becomes your focus for that time.   Personal Anger Expression Anger like love, sadness, and happiness is a basic human emotion-one of our primary emotions. Feelings just are. They are neither GOOD nor BAD. Anger is a natural emotion. It tells us when something is going on that does not fit our ‘rules’ for the world. It is a way of protecting us from perceived threats. How we express it is something we learn. Our personal anger expression combines our feeling, our personal learning and our culture. Before you can predict how another person will respond, it is helpful to know how you respond. We want you to be a 100% expert about yourself. We want you to know precisely how you respond physically, mentally, emotionally, and behaviorally. How do you know when you are angry?   Physical Signs will look something like this: Heart rate increases Sweating Red face Muscle tension (head, neck, shoulders). This is the Stress Triangle. Upset stomach Diarrhea or constipation Clammy hands Grind teeth or jaw tension   Emotional Signs will look something like this: Irritable Anxious Nervous Numb   Behavioral Signs will look something like this:  Yelling Cussing Throwing something Can’t sit or stand still Eating Drinking