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No. 5: Identify
possible solutions
Instead of focusing on what made you mad, work on resolving the issue at hand. Does your child’s messy room drive you
crazy? Close the door. Is your partner late for dinner every night? Schedule meals later in the evening – or agree to
eat on your own a few times a week. Remind yourself that anger won’t fix anything, and might only make it worse.
No. 6: Stick
with ‘I’ statements
To avoid criticizing or placing blame – which might only increase tension – use “I” statements
to describe the problem. Be respectful and specific. For example, say, “I’m upset that you left the table
without offering to help with the dishes,” instead of, “You never do any housework.” No. 7: Don’t hold a grudge
Forgiveness is a powerful tool. If you allow
anger and other negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings, you might find yourself swallowed up by your own bitterness
or sense of injustice. But if you can forgive someone who angered you, you might both learn from the situation. It’s
unrealistic to expect everyone to behave exactly as you want at all times. No. 8: Use humor to release tension
Lightening up can help diffuse tension.
Don’t use sarcasm, though – it can hurt feelings and make things worse. No. 9: Practice relaxation skills
When your temper flares, put relaxation
skills to work. Practice deep-breathing exercises, imagine a relaxing scene, or repeat a calming word or phrase, such as,
“Take it easy.” You might also listen to music, write in a journal or do a few yoga poses – whatever it
takes to encourage relaxation. No. 10: Know when to seek help
Learning to control anger is a challenge for everyone at times. Consider seeking
help for anger issues if your anger seems out of control, causes you to do things you regret or hurts those around you. You
might explore local anger management counseling. With one-on-one professional help, you can: - Identify what deeper triggers
might be causing your anger
- Gain a deeper recognition of signs that you’re becoming angry
- Learn other methods to respond to frustration
and anger in a controlled, healthy way
- Explore deeper underlying feelings, such as sadness or depression
See References
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TAKE COMPREHENSIVE EXAMINATION
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